That's where I am right now in my WIP. I only have a few chapters to go.
This weekend, I was helping my neighbor take down her swing set and we were talking about it. I told her that when I finish this book, I feel like it'll be the biggest accomplishment of my entire life. And it really means a lot to me, because I'm not sure if I've ever finished a story I started that wasn't for an assignment of some sort. And even then, I'm never happy with my endings. But I'm proud of this story. I'm proud of this book. And I want to get it out there and share it, because I think other people will enjoy it.
Now here's the scary part - the pressure I put on myself by saying that. I've been delaying finishing it for whatever reason for the past few years. I try NaNoWriMo every single year in order to just finish what little I have left and it never seems to happen. I give myself a goal for December, by the end of the year. It doesn't happen. I wanted to finish by the end of January. Part of this is because I do work a full time job on top of owning an editing business, so I don't get as much time to write as I'd like (who does?). But I think part of it might be a fear of actually finishing it.
I keep telling myself that writing the first draft is the hard part. And in some regard, I know that's the truth. Once I finalize the story and finish tying up the plot, the rest is a combination of editing and pitching with a little bit of luck. But I'm not looking forward to the rejection that I know will inevitably come, though I'm confident that SOMEONE will enjoy my story enough to give that first five-star review or maybe a publisher will pick it up. It's the unknown that I'm nervous about - is that what's holding me back?
I haven't really thought about it like that before, but I'm sure it's there in the back of my mind somewhere along with the fear of failure, and, honestly, the fear of success. Something new. I'm sure I'll get over it in time, once I actually do finish and start the next steps.
I just wanted to put this out there today because I've been kind of impersonal with my previous blog posts and I wanted to give a little insight into what I'm feeling right now in case anyone else is in the same boat and doesn't feel like anyone else will know what's going on.
Finishing a book is a HUGE accomplishment, no matter who you are. So be proud of that. Be proud of your books. Be proud of your stories. Let it become a part of you. You're a writer, whether you take that on as an official job title or not. That's what we do. We're creators. Making something that lets people escape into our worlds when they're having a tough time on their own.
So just jump in. The deep end may not be as scary as it looks from the surface.